It’s nearly here; fires are lit, babies cheeks are ruddy and the tree is up. Already I am overdosed on gluten free minced pies and ready for the January detox!
Happy Christmas to one and all
It’s nearly Christmas, which means nearly new year, and new year means resolutions. I am so happy with how 2014 turned out I loved this year. Having my daughter, and giving her my all this year, has been amazing but this year is my gap year before we try for another and this year is about me regaining some of my world for me….
1. Find work for a couple of days a week in some way, shape or form- a couple of days per week at work is something I look forward to and think will be good for me.
2. Run the perth half marathon – another goal just for me!
3. Quit sugar- I really want to do a couple of months without and then eliminate all hidden sugars and just have considered treats
4. Loose last bit of baby weight! Simple
5. Read more- I can’t wait to get reading again and really want to set a reading example for milly!
6. Get into at home exercise- dvd or online program I guess!
7. Do a silver smithing course- I have wanted to do this for ages and should be able to finally once she is weaned!
8. Finally I hope to cut spending and for us to get frugal and start saving again- with considered treats and splurges!
What’s your resolutions? Are you happy with how this year has gone?
Where to even begin. This week has been the hardest in the history of parenting for us.
My darling daughter, the absolute light of my life, started having some trouble with sleeping at around four and a half months old. She went from being a champion sleeper ( waking two to three times over a twelve hour night) to more and more until the last few weeks it has been hourly. She also stopped having longer day sleeps and would only do fourty minute naps. I chalked it up to so many things; teething, illness, wonder weeks. Whilst I am sure none of these helped all were separate issues which ended up with the underlying fact she wasn’t sleeping whatever the weather! I fact she was pretty grizzly. I spoke to a helpline on numerous occasions over the last two months and even went on a sleep workshop and realized that it was a problem that she was feeding to sleep. Basically she was associating that action with sleep so each time she woke after a sleep cycle she would cry out to be fed. This resulted in her eating extra food, no doubt uncomfortable and also her bringing some back up, especially after mammoth feeding sessions to try and sleep!
I tried everything they suggested; patting, popping the nipple out just before she fell asleep etc and it worked to an extent. She could fall asleep herself If I was laying on my bed next to her, but would still want a feed when she woke to resettle. So I knew she could do it she just didn’t routinely. It reached the point because I was laying down to feed her, as she is 11kg and my husband has been working away , all this feeding was ruining my back that she would fall asleep on my bed and wouldn’t go to her cot.
Let me be really clear in this statement. I am totally not a fan of controlled crying/ cry it out for my child. I wanted to do whatever baby steps we could towards her self settling but after 2 months we were in a bind. I knew it wasn’t working for her and I also felt the longer it went on the harder it would be to change.
So we went to sleep school. For one day. I had the assistance of a midwife with years of experience and a cot in a room with a video camera so we could see what she was up to. It turns out my daughter shouts whilst she tries to settle. She has a bit of a tantrum really as she is frustrated trying to settle herself, she then drops off and wails and shouts then drops again. I saw it with my own eyes it is in no way crying herself to sleep it is shouting in frustration as she tries to drop off. I had been rushing to her at each cry because I didn’t want to be cruel but in doing so hadn’t allowed her the chance to settle. Each time we went in to pat her she got angry as it wasn’t helping, each time I shhhhh at the door she gets angry too. Despite all my best intentions and plans to do everything so gently she just needed space and time to do this her way.
On the first night home she slept for 12 hours with just two feeds. It is now four days out and she does some shouts/cries/grizzles for about 10 mins and goes to sleep. Each time I do the exact same routine; feed, book, sleeping bag and say goodnight. After 10 mins I sshhhh and reassure at the door if she isn’t asleep. Her cries are always stop and start frustrations, never a real cry. There are never tears on her face…… it just sounds horrid to me.
It also proves to me that each baby is individual and each parent also. I would have loved to slowly and gently teach my daughter to settle and I honestly think I got her as close to that as she would allow but she has just needed space to learn this herself. I have no regrets on spending the first six months filling every want and need she had but I do feel the gift of sleep is important for her but also for me. Her awake times are much happier ( her) and although I miss her intensely when she is asleep that breaks means I am refreshed, can do the jobs and have all the quality time when she is awake. To be honest the sleep school was more for me than her as she was ready and I was so unconfident in this area as she didn’t want to learn in the way I had envisaged. So hard!
have you ever had this situation ? What would you do?
Sometimes in life we just have to stop and admit we are making excuses or avoiding things because we are nervous of them or scared. I have reached the point where I have a million excuses and am incredibly nervous of two things which need to happen.
For some reason I have a complete mental block about teaching my baby to self settle in her cot. At six months this is a skill she really needs to learn and it is crunch time. Any longer and some embedded habits will have formed, less time and she may not have been ready. I can come up with every excuse under the sun but the stark truth is my baby cannot self settle in her cot and she doesn’t sleep all that well anymore. I have read so much conflicting information I am so confused and don’t know where to start. She is a real stubborn Taurus and much more headstrong in nature than I so I know this may be a tricky habit for me to help her change. So to deal with this we are getting help and are off to sleep school. I have been to work shops and braced myself but we are going for reinforcement! I just need a routine to follow or a game plan which will help teach her in the kindest and most efficient way possible.
Secondly my baby weight. Yes I can cut myself a break but it is now 6 months post partum and I want to ensure it goes. I am scared of loosing my milk I am nervous of so many things surrounding this and there are a zillion excuses I could use but I think that the time has come. So tomorrow I am seeing a dietician for a plan which will help me loose it in a slow and sensible fashion. Again I am so confused about what to eat, how much etc that I just need a simple plan to follow. This means when I am tempted, exhausted there is no room for confusion I just need to do it.
The fastest way to remove a fear is to meet it head on.
What scares you?
I am also nervous of weaning the baby off the boob but that is a whole other ball game!
I saw this image and loved it. It is the most true observation I have ever read. I am so very much an achiever I really have to work hard at stopping to smell the roses. In some ways having a baby forced me to stop. Breastfeeding has forced me to slow, rocking her to sleep forced me to be in the moment and the way she grows has forced me to celebrate the moments as she changes so fast I will never get them back.
I should extend the kindness she gets to myself. She needs to see this so she learns to expect to behave this way towards herself. So in honour of not sacrificing health and living in the moment here are a few little life goals.
* I will enjoy my body in all various stages of post partum shape all the whilst nourishing it best for health and letting it lose the weight as it needs from a healthy diet.
*I will exercise for pleasure and no other reason, if we are tired we will rest
* I will do my jobs spread over a week and not worry if small things do not quite get done
* I will take time for myself
* I will cherish this week as next week we are heading to sleep school for help with the baby and it makes me nervous. But that is next week and this is today!
At times this year has been so hard, moving in what feels like slow motion for me, having the patience needed. When I look back we have achieved so much- house renovation, organising affairs, growing, birthing and raising a little person and through it all remaining happy, healthy and together. Perhaps there is more than a little truth to the wise words above.
Do you live in the moment? Do you prioritise health?
After my love of the Antipodes anti aging minis I was delighted to be sent a couple of new items to have a test of. I was sent a Immortal SPF 15+ Natural Sun Protection Moisturiser and a Jubilation Ultra Nourishing hand and body cream. I am not going to rehash all the information on these products but rather tell you what I like about them.
First up the sunscreen. I am a huge advocate of sun protection, as someone who has had a cancer cut out, sun protection is vital. Since having the baby we have been out walking regularly and in the sun and the sun protection has been brilliant. It is also nice and natural so I keep it in the nappy bag and will happily pop some on the baby.
As a general rule I prefer body oils to moisturisers as they just take too long to sink in for getting dressed and I am currently time poor. This sinks in nice and quickly, leaves your body soft and smooth and is a pleasure to use. It also feels lovely after time in the sun.
Do you use antipodes? What is your favourite product?
Inspired by The belle Lumiere, who does a weekly round up of her thoughts I am planning to do a thoughts of lately style post when I get a chance.
I cannot believe it is already October. Where the hell has this year gone? Is it rushing for everyone else?
I am part of a group of girls who do the gold star challenge. Each week we email and review goals and set goals for the week. I love this but to be honest am a little bored of the sound of my own voice because whilst I do get some jobs done others remain on the to do list. So here are my goals for the end of the year.
Quite frankly the last month has been exhausting. Between friends in need, husband working away, colds, flus, chest infections, sinus infections, immunisations and teething sleep has been far between and few and energy has been low. Still back to it, lets pick our selves up, dust ourselves down and kick some goals.
How have you been? what have you been up to? any pre xmas goals?
I used to love reading day in the life posts when I was pregnant. I felt it could give me an honest idea of what to expect as a mum. Whilst each baby and parent is different, as is each day, here is a typical one at home for us. Also it changes as my husband works away every other week so there is some variation there which is noted.
5-6AM Milly wakes and needs a quick feed, she often does some nappy business then I pop her back into her cot and she drifts off. I read blogs, emails, check facebook and have a coffee and brekkie ( as a note for improvement I would like to have hot lemon and prep a green smoothie instead)
7.30AM Milly wakes properly. I dress myself whilst she is still in her cot chatting. The give her a quick wash, nappy change and dress her
8-9AM Milly has her reflux medicine, some solid food two courses ( pear and banana baby rice and also some pear puree) then she has a play. I often do sitting up practise aswell as she is better at it in the morning when she is more refreshed.
9AM- 40 min sleep ( I wish it were longer). At this point I do housework and make a snack ( I would like to start having some brekkie in this spot and a coffee)
She then plays until
11am- feed her
12- solids ( two course one veg and one fruit) followed by water
12.30 – 40 min nap. In this one I may finish laundry, prep dinner, make some lunch etc etc. If I am doing aqua, pilates etc this falls around this time so I miss out on my nap for jobs!
3- 40 min nap followed by playing. Often I may do a walk with the pushchair and run errands after 2 as she naps well in a pushchair and gets some fresh air plus the tail end of the day is hardest, I have found, with a baby. If my husband is away I feed the dog and the chickens, collect the eggs, and feed the fish. I have usually finished just in time for her to wake up!
we then play until…At this point I get her bed ready for night, take nappies out to the bin etc.
5pm solids two courses ( garden veg and rice, followed by fruit puree)
5.45 bath for Milly
6.30pm down for the night
At this point I would love to start having dinner, doing a workout dvd and then having a bath and doing some pampering. Often I also do a house tidy and final wash of dishes so I wake to a clean house. I get to bed between 9 and 10, sometimes earlier for a read!.
2.30am she wakes for a feed.
As you can see it is quite full on being a mum, especially as you still need to be with them for play time. I have found the jobs are never actually done so I have to make a real effort to take time out and designate a nap time, which is precious time for jobs, to doing a little bit for myself. Sometimes, especially if you are a little run down, being a mum is like being on a treadmill which doesn’t stop! I wouldn’t change it for anything and we do also have lovely coffee dates etc but there is a lot to get done in a day.
Here we are 19 weeks into having a baby. Whilst I most certainly don’t have it all together I do feel I have a few tips to offer on how to appear you have it together. Fake it until you make it right?
1. Freeze lemon wedges- so even if you have no milk or anything, because lets face it there will be times things get that out of hand, you can offer any random guests a water with lemon wedge.
2. In the same vein freeze cakes. Oh how do you have time to bake? you don’t always but when you do make double. Also a good night time snack!
3.Keep dusters everywhere. I have them in the drawers in each room and the glove box of the car. That way it is so easy to do a quick whip around when you notice its dusty. By having them in each room you do not have to leave bubba unattended to go get one. The duster in the car means when the baby falls asleep in the car and hasn’t woken and you get to wherever I just give the car a quick once over whilst waiting for them to finish their nap.
4. I have makeup and hairdryers in both bedroom and bathroom so I can get dressed even if baby is napping in my room without disturbance. Luckily I can also normally pull together an outfit due to the piles of folded laundry which I now keep on the dining table!
5. To include exercise do it as something you do when baby is awake. Mums and bubs classes, walks so they sleep, I am now going to try a workout dvd whilst Milly is in the jumparoo… one less thing to do when they nap which means you are more likely to be able to pop your feet up.
6. Get help from others- on the weekend I really like the husband to look after the baby so I can prep some tasty healthy food for the week.
7. Food delivery and online shopping- say no more!
8. A good bright lippy- no one will notice you cant open your eyes if your lips are bright!
9. dry shampoo
10. radox- having a baby is a crash course in muscle toning!
Do you have any mummy cheats for me?