Lists, Lists everywhere

I am a self-confessed list maker, list lover and needer of all things organisational and listy. I make lists for shopping for food, of what I could cook, lust lists, to do lists etc. After a colleague at work laughed at me for writing my lists on a post it and sticking it to my iphone I have upgraded to the notepad app on my phone.

I make lists like these at least once daily….

Whilst doing my sunday cleanse where I delete the notes and list from the week before that I no longer leave I found this little note which was left for me to find in a moment of stress when I write notes and lists

There is something to put a smile on my face today!

What has made you smile today?

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WIAW, wrap up

Todays WIAW is a little different as although it contains details of what I ate today it also contains a comparison. As you may be aware I am on weight watchers. I have joined because I have excess kilos to loose. I want to join the kilos to get healthy, feel great and get my body well prepared for when I want to have children. When I do have children I want to be in a good routine so I can be a positive role model. All make sense? Yah..

With weight watchers you can fall into a trap of being a junk food point counter. I imagine this would be easy, and although the new plan has changed to encourage this not to be the case, as long as you stick to the points you lose. After the  wellness seminar I felt renewed interest and enthusiasm for whole foods and eating for maximum health benefits. Sadly this has not translated into my eating yet. After a really busy start to the week and some bad nights of sleeping my days have looked a little rough around the edges.

Weight watchers is easy you have a tracker which I am good at doing BUT you also have some health checks which although may have been better than a lot of people’s daily intake have not been good enough for me.

So I have gone through the archives to see what one of my unhealthier 33 point day looked like and am working out improvements.

33 points

BFAST

2 slices gluten free bread- 5 pts

dairy spread- 2 pts

honey- 1 pt

Skinny cap- 2 pts

SNACK

apple- free

LUNCH

Chicken burger 13 pts

chips ( 1/4 serve)- 2 pts

DINNER

yoghurt 2 pts

cereals 4 pts

SNACKS

Freddo 1 pt

Exercise – 30 mins walk

Actually not horrific, but not enough veggies or fruit and quite high in processed food and sugar. I would like to change so that I maintain a mainly gluten-free diet ( or use sprouted spelt bread), I would prefer my dairy to be plain yogurt and not flavored, I would like to ensure I meet my 2 and 5 and I would like to exercise daily. One thing I am getting good at is having a variety in my diet.

So onto this weeks focus. Whole food, varied diet, less sugar, exercise and perhaps less wine this week. Although I will have a few days of travel for work this week aside from those days I would like to be eating out less. As we have a 3 day weekend I may also attempt to do my 2 week detox for my liver, I am running out of time for this before I change jobs and have less control over what I eat.

Off to weigh in now and then to running club. What small changes would you like to make this week?

 

 

 

The engagement

Nearly a year ago my favorite person on this planet took me to Scarborough, booked a hotel room for us surprised me with a weekend away. I had just come back from 2 weeks away with work and thought he was acting super suspicious as every time he called me he kept saying ‘ you are free this weekend, you know we are going away?’.

We spent the Saturday shopping together until we could check in the hotel and I bought him new sunglasses and I got a dress for his sisters engagement party. Then whilst he checked in he asked me to get some nice wine or champagne for the room. Little did I know what he was up to so I bought some cider and jack daniels with coke premix as it was a hot day and I fancied cider more and jacks and coke is his favorite ( yes we are a truly classy couple!).

Up in the room he took me out to the balcony which over looked the sea and asked me to marry him. As mentioned in the blog name I didn’t say yes I said ‘oh my god is that from Tiffany?’  To be honest any ring from him would have been amazing but for someone who is not super girly and spends most of her time up to her elbows in dirt wearing steel cap boots this was my princess moment. The ring was perfect a platinum band with a perfect square cut diamond.. and it wasn’t too big for my little hands. The fact it was from Tiffany was important for me because of the brand but because it stemmed from a conversation about 2 years before when I had said I would rather a lovelier ring from somewhere like Tiffany than a larger ring from somewhere cheaper. I didn’t need an expensive ring but in Australia a lot of men say it is traditional to spend 3 months salary and he wanted to meet that so he would feel comfortable with the ring. To me this ring signifies that fact that I am marrying someone who remembered a small comment in a conversation a long time ago and went out of his day to give me a perfect moment.

He then told me how he had saved for this perfect Tiffany ring in his fishing rod case in the shed so I wouldn’t know, he also had the blue box but it wouldn’t fit in his flanno shirt pocket so he kept it hidden in his dirt bike boots so I wouldn’t find it. Hilarious, never has such a good ole Aussie bloke done such a romantic day.

We then had wine and a lush sea food dinner and had a lovely night. I used to feel worried that I hadn’t felt the day properly, that I couldn’t remember it all properly but these are my memories of the day and they are the things which were important to me Low key… yes, just us two …. yes, best day of my life… yes ( so far). For others maybe not perfect for us perfect because that’s how we role and that’s why we fit!

Tell me about your special moment, not the flashy stuff but the little things which made it you?

Gwinganna Wellness Seminar

On thursday night I attended the Gwinganna wellness seminar. Basically the lovely folks at Gwinganna decided that as we cannot all make it to their retreats they would bring a small slice of it to us. The even was held at the hyatt and was completely sold out. There were refreshments including herbal teas, water and bliss balls ( YUM)

The speaker was Caroline Scott who is a nutritionist with them and her subject was wellness, stress and food. There were so many fantastic points raised and what I loved most about her was although she was passionate she was not extreme. She was not suggesting that we all live a completely clean lifestyle at all times… she did in fact mention that as long as we respect out bodies they forgive us a lot. Another fantastic thing she acknowledged was that each of us is different.

I was quite relieved that many of the things she spoke of mirrored a lot of my personal thoughts from noticing what had happened with myself and also working with the naturopath. I will summarise some of the key points she made and how to implement them which I took home and plan to use.

Firstly eat organic if possible and if you don’t a multivitamin is suggested. Her prefered multi vitamin or supplement would be spirulina. She also said not to buy from super markets and the more you spend the better the quality. I am definitely of this opinion and would prefer taking less but better quality over more that doesn’t do much. My brand of choice is metagenics. She also stated that in an ideal world we would not need a multi vitamin but often our eating is less than perfect and therefore we do. I shall be sourcing a spirulina multi vitamin and including this in my regime.

Another issue discussed at length was that of stress and digestion. Caroline has noticed over the years that in particular females hold a lot of their stress in their stomachs and therefore do not digest as well as we could leading to tiredness and weight gain. It is also noted that when we do not allow food to pass through us correctly we get sludge which is reabsorbed and causes inflammation the route of all disease. Well I have suffered long term with poor digestion and absorbtion associated with stress and also the associated weight gain and now it is more controlled things are a lot easier for me. I do take a supplement to help with the inflammation and I also support my adrenals and endocrine system so I can deal with stress better.

The next take home point for me was that you need your liver to be functioning well for weight loss, detoxification and energy levels. A recent blood test by the doctor showed mine was borderline and as mentioned in previous posts I have a 2 week detox prescribed by the naturopath to complete. I feel newly re-inspired to complete this and am planning to start on monday for 2 whole weeks. A detox tea and the use of beetroot in juices was also noted as good at aiding detoxification. I am off to find some detox tea ( containing chamomile) to use with the detox program.

Finally with regard to nourishing your body it was recommended that if it wasn’t real food as in something as you find it in the ground or on an animal do not eat it. Make time to eat consciously and slowly with lots of chewing. Eat products with minimal processing ( whole foods) and try not to eat sugar ( definitely if it is in the top 3 ingredients bypass it). She also suggested to avoid packaged foods and if you are eating them ensure that you recognise the items on the ingredients list and that they do not contain numbers.

However, she did also say don’t waste your current food so do eat it up and that changes over time lead to transformation! Brilliant.

We also received a goody bag from the talk and I happened to be a winner of  a fantastic Gwinganna cookbook filled with amazing pictures, recipes and tips for better living.

I hope you can take these tips and use them as I intend to. What are your tips for wellness?

what to expect when you are expecting

Mid week I went to a Hoyts Gala screening of this film with  bunch of girlfriends. It is $23 for hoyts members and includes your ticket plus a goody bag. I went in a group of 8 girlies and there were loads of groups of girls, all a little bit dressed up, at the cinema? It is actually a fantastic idea for a cheap girls night out.

The film was pretty good, quite funny in places and a little sad in others and I enjoyed it. The goody bag was pretty huge and themed for the film with girlie items and baby items. I have separated them for the photos. All the baby items I am gifting on to a friend with a child.

A Babies R U catalogue

20% of Babies R us voucher

Some baby food puree fruit and also savoury

Boogie wipes ( apparently saline wipes for when you have a cold)

A $50 wine voucher

2 weeks membership to Goodlife gyms

3 Biore product samples

2 frizz ease product samples

In style magazine

A handcream

A hair product to make your hair blow dry faster

An energy drink containing fruit juice

Organic rice cakes with strawberry yogurt flavour- these may be meant for  babies but I think my snack drawer at work would benefit.

As you can see the gift bags are generous and well worth the $23 with the movie viewing. I am definitely keeping an eye out for the next event like this.

Have you ever done a gala screening? What did you think?

Project Pan 50

A quick update on the project, this week has seen me doing relatively well. I was considering a clear out and feel like I would like to have a cleanse of clothes, accessories and also makeup and products in the future but as I have a big change in lifestyle coming up in the next few weeks I will resist until I know what I will use then. I am also resisting the clothes clean out as I will always want a spree after and I am hoping that I will get rid of clothes gradually as I loose weight and have a spree at goal!

So for now products which I have used up this week

I really liked this product. For me it was not exfoliating enough and I used a separate scrub. It contained no nasties, was organic and it cost less than a fiver from supermarkets. I am assuming that more expensive organic shower gels would last longer but I was happy with this and would re purchase. For now in the spirit of all things pan 50 like I am going to try to use some bar soaps in the shower. I do have quite a stash mainly because I don’t like them but I will try for now.

Also, forget shop my stash.. this week has been more like steal my stash as my mum, in the uk, requested some of my products. She actually asked me to buy her them but as I have a preference for other blushers at the moment and these were barely used I have passed them on. For reference I have slightly warmer skin tone to my mum and these products were a little to pink on my skin I prefer a peach.

The kit cheek and lip tint is so wearable. It is cheaper than benetint and I prefer this product. I find it slightly more wine coloured that the benetint and much easier for blending. It also lasts for ages. the other is a multi use stick from ELF I cannot remember the colour but I bought two and this one was more pink. I use the same stick in Persimmon often and find it works beautifully as a highlighter for your cheek bones.

Anyhow enjoy. I am off to shop my stash and continue panning! What have you panned this week?

What my kilos mean to me

Lets be honest there are a lot of weight loss blogs out there about people who have lost the weight and kept it off but there are less about people losing the weight. I imagine this is because losing weight is hard; hard work, hard to work out how and it is hard to admit that...’hey I got fatter than i need to be!’

I am the queen of buying only accessories as you are never to fat for them, buying stretchy clothes so you don’t have to admit you are a size bigger than you care to admit or shopping and shopping until the size 14 jeans will do up (with a massive muffin top) rather than be a size 16 as that is beyond what you feel is acceptable for yourself.

I have spent years telling myself i don’t need to weigh as it doesn’t mean anything, I have more muscle, I hold weight all over so it shows less, I am not that big just chubby… Lets set the record straight

I am that big I am too heavy and I need to lose about 30% of my body weight.

I have spent years feeling every photo is taken from a bad angle or I tumbled dried my clothes to long and that is why they are tight. I also have lost a few pounds and fluctuated back down to an ok weight and then it has gone up again. So for the last few weeks I have been focusing on what my kilos mean to me- how did I gain them? why did I need them? and what are my drivers to get rid of them?

I love a crash diet, I love the slimming magazines, I love the promise of loosing 10 kgs in 2 months of course who doesn’t? I also have tried them all and failed. I have spent about 10 years of my life going to bed thinking I am not good enough and that tomorrow I will try harder. I got exhausted. I am tired of being the girl with the lovely smile because you cant really compliment someone on their lovely muffin top.

My kilos started coming in my early twenties. In my lates teens I got really sick with chronic fatigue and I didn’t really feel like eating, then I loved not eating. I couldn’t control how well I was but I could control how thin I was. I spent my 18th birthday crying because I knew I would have to eat cake and couldn’t avoid it. I have weighed in at under 7 stone ( at 5’6) and gone on nights out needing to drink for confidence but only wanting shots to avoid the extra calories.I have made people walk with me, not to spend time with them but, to burn extra calories. I have used laxatives and foods which upset my tummy to get rid of a large amount of food in my tummy. I have cried over binges, I have avoided nights out and meeting people because I was having a fat day. I would like to add that this has never gotten to the point that I had an eating disorder but I have flirted with all these things and suffered with disordered eating.

Whilst I was ill I was diagnosed as intolerant to this and that and everything at pretty much one point or another. I tried to stick to the diets, at first I was good, then I fell of the wagon and if I ate one bad thing why not another. I may aswell because I will start again and do it right tomorrow… right???? When you are starting again tomorrow everyday that means that everyday is a day when you fall off the wagon, ate unhealthy things and  you gain weight as I did. Exercise became tied up in this. I may feel like a run but I can’t today because I failed at my diet and need to have a bad day to start again tomorrow. Tomorrow though I will run a marathon. Naturally I cant run a marathon as I have not run in a year… I failed… aaah well I will eat cake and start again tomorrow.

Sometimes I loose weight without noticing when I am busy and distracted from the diet issues. I believe this is because I actually don’t have much of a taste for junk food and really unhealthy foods. I actually know how to eat properly, I have a bit of a passion for health. I know how to lead a healthy lifestyle, my mother is so very balanced, I just got off track and a series of unfortunate events led to the creation of some very negative habits. I like salad, I like grilled foods, I like fruit, brown rice and whole grains… I also like to punish my body with food and exercise when I feel bad.

Each kilo I have gained represents some kind of mis-treatment towards my body… I used to think that they represented too much fun, but after a few weeks of loosing properly I can confirm that eating a half portion, or having a spritzer does not lessen the fun.  I used to eat what my thinner friends ate as I thought that having it would make me more like them and not stick out more, as I already stuck out due to my extra weight.

My weight was not gained because I love food. My weight was gained because I reached to high, I was a perfectionist, the ideals were unrealistic for me and the disappointment was too hard for me. I gained because I did not have the confidence to say what I and my body needed I did what was convenient for everyone else.

How did I deal with this? well it has not just taken 3 weeks it has been changing for a long time. Firstly I admitted there was a problem, there was a problem with my wellbeing, lifestyle and energy levels and a result of this was that I was FAT. In january I quit all intensive exercise, tried to de stress and started to see a naturopath. I felt hugely guilty about spending a few hundred dollars each month on myself.  I now remind myself how ridiculous this is, you can’t buy health. With her help I have de- stressed, managed anxiety, am building up my body to deal with stress and also am taking some herbal tablets to help raise serotonin levels. I feel like myself again.

After 5 months of working like this and just trying to eat healthy I have joined weight watchers. There are a lot of healthy eating blogs where everyone eats perfectly and I have had to admit I am just not in a position to do that. I also cannot eat as much as them each day because I cannot run 10km…baby steps. I am practicing kindness towards myself, slow changes for 3 weeks I have not had any kind of eating episode where i have eaten beyond comfort or above points, my diet has been balanced ( it includes chocolate but just a freddo not a whole block) it includes cake (just 1 slice) and it has not been hard.  I have done some exercise but low-level exercise, exercise that I enjoy such as dog walking, yoga, swimming. I feel great.

Everyday is a battle. The battle for me is possibly different other overweight people who may have various reasons for being overweight. The battle for me is to remain balanced, be proud of what I am, be proud of who I am, to not set the bar so high I won’t get there, to be realistic in my expectations, to celebrate the things I do well and not just be upset about the small daily failures. If I can do this then the weight loss will follow my. In my personal case it appears to not be as I once thought that that my excess weight is not a cause of my unhappiness but that being out of balance is the cause and the weight gain is the symptom. Sticking to my weight watchers points is achievable to me so even if I don’t quite get all my veggies that day or I have something previously known as a bad food I push that out of my mind and celebrate that I kept within my points.

Since I have made these changes I feel better, I am happier, I am proud and my digestion works better as I hold less stress. I enjoy times out with my friends and I have a bit of wine, but I have a salad first. I have found more of a  balance over time the balance may change, we are ever evolving and the way I feel now compared to just 6 months ago is a huge difference.

I have a long journey to go, I have this blog to re-read and remind myself when it gets tough. I am going to enjoy the weight loss and not focus on arriving at the goal. As each kilo gained was due to mistreating my body each kilo lost is a kindness to my body. My weight is not who I am but it is part of me and I am all the wiser and happier in myself for knowing this.

I never blogged before because I always deep down thought I would fail at the weight loss. I will not now, It may take longer than anticipated, it may be harder than I ever thought, I may fall off the wagon but I CAN DO IT!

On this blog I will probably not be perfect, I will probably not be an amazing role model, I will probably not provide the best reviews and you will probably not wish to be more like me.However, I will be myself, I will commiserate failures and celebrate wins and I will work everyday to be a healthy balanced person. After all this is the ultimate goal and for me my weight is just a reflection of that in my body.

The final question.. what is driving this change. Primarily it is because I want to be the best me possibly I want this for me, secondly I want to be a mum in a few years and I want a healthy body to make a baby in, I also want to have given it my best shot to bed into a healthy lifestyle so I can be a role model and teach my children.

Follow me on the journey, tell me what your kilos mean to you, and join me. Share here and lets celebrate each others wins.

 

Living in separate hemispheres…. an ode to the mummatron

Today, I am blogging about a subject so very close to my heart. Living in separate hemisphere’s with particular reference to my mother. It is HARD, as in really hard to live away from your family. Let me also add that my family is not perfect, there is no picket fence and no 2.4 children we are a typical modern family. I grew up with 4 parents, as opposed to the old-fashioned 2, I have half brothers, step brothers and that alone is hard. Add another hemisphere and it is super tricky.

My mother, who raised me ( with the help of others but most of who I am and what I know has come from her), is beautiful both physically and as a person. When I was younger I used to think that my mum looked like sandy from Grease and now.. she still does look a bit like Olivia Newton John. More than this she is a beautiful person who has always been there for me 125%.

When I moved it was for work, for a chance for a better life and also for a change. I travel, we travel, it’s what my family do. It was not permanent, it was a chance to go and see what happened. Then I met my other half and he and his family are from the opposite end of the planet to me and mine and I had to make decisions. Where do we live? Where is out future? where do we get married? Where do we live with our kids? am I still a good daughter if I live away? how can I love my family if I choose to live away from them?

For a long time I held a lot of guilt about living away but I love my life here. I love my job, I love the climate, I love my partner and I can earn more. On a day-to-day basis it is easier for us to live here. I miss my mum. At the age of nearly 30 there are still days when I need my mum. After lots of thought, lots of chats and plenty of tears we have learned a few things ( my mother and I)

  • As a mother she wants the best for me and enjoys my happiness and is sad with me. If we weren’t crying because we missed each other we would be because I had a rubbish job or hadn’t found someone to be with.
  • She is proud of me… proud that I have got out there and taken on the world and proud of the things I have achieved.
  • If the biggest problem I have is that my family live far away when I live with the man of my dreams, do a job I love and live comfortably then things are looking pretty rosy.

I would not say that living apart has distanced us. I would actually say we are closer than ever. Yes, I don’t know how many cups of tea she has each day and she doesn’t know what colour socks I have on but she knows the things I am into, what is stressing me and whats going on in my life. If I have a decision to make she is always the second person I chat to ( my fiance being the first), I have a special phone line so calls are cheap and I call her a couple of times a week. We email most days sometimes a couple of times. The emails are often small and just contain links to things or recipes or just a hello. In fact we chose my wedding dress together online via emailing links.

I treasure being this close to my mother, I value her and because I miss her I love her more. Every phone call and email requires effort and is sent because we want to and miss each other and everyday I think of her and something to tell her and the best part? Well the best part is the emails are often signed love the mummatron- if that doesn’t make you smile I don’t know what will.

Weigh In and update

Just a quick post to update y’all. I had my weigh in yesterday and really didn’t feel like going but am glad I did as I was 0.6kg down so that takes it to a grand total of 3.2kg! Not to be sniffed at.

This week has been so busy and so I missed my WIAW post, but will do one for the weekend alongside a massive weeks wrapup, some reviews, a PP50 update and a quick steal from my stash ( much like shop my stash except items have been shot gunned by my mum instead of used by me!).

H x

Sinner sinner

I try to live my life well but I sin and depending on the sin I don’t repent or regret.. I LOVE SINNING. Let me break down the sins of the last few days.

GREED

Confession 1. Yes I have stuck to my weight watchers points but over the last few weeks of fun and frolics there has been more cake, coffee and wine than I would care to admit. As one who has a dodgy tummy at the best of times I can feel I am at my tipping point and need to reign it in. I have been diagnosed as FOMAPS intolerant ( I will do a post on this later if needed) but I would like to get back to that ( essentially cut the gluten, lactose, sweetener, limit fructose and cut the coffee). I would also like to complete a 2 week liver detox as shown to me by the naturopath. I completed one week a few months ago with massive benefits.

Penance 1: 3 hail Tiffany’s plus a 2 week detox!

SLOTH

Confession 2: Oh this last week has been slothful. What with the friend staying, an overnight trip to Darwin, a hectic weekend and plenty more excuses exercise has taken a back burner. Lets get back to it.

Penance: 2 hail Tiffany’s and a week of exercise ( Tuesday night yoga and dog walk, Wednesday morning dog walk and body balance, thursday morning dog walk, friday evening gym work out, saturday morning body balance and dog walk and sunday long cycle- PHEW)

VANITY

Confession 3. Yep I caved just 2 weeks into project pan 50 and my vanity got the better of me. I caved and ordered the skinstitut glycolic cleanser. I just keep getting hormonal spots and whilst I have tried to use what I have ( pH isonex) it just doesn’t work for me. So I am panning that and reinstating this which I know works like a charm for me.

Penance 3: None I stand by this as product I know works and essential. Yes I am a little vain I hate spots but what can you do.

LUST

Confession 4. After spending so much time with friends and family lately I am feeling lusty. Not lusty in a saucy way but I am lusting to have some chilled time cuddled up on the couch with my lovely man chilling out with the dog at our feet!

Penance 4: 1 Hail Tiffany as it stems from love and some time out!

COVET

Confession 5. I covet so much and have been thinking about it more and more whilst I am not spending. I have a few lust lists right now which I will summarise below.

Project Pan 50 Lust list ( for when my products are used)

  • Mario Badescu skincare- silver powder and toner
  • Everyday minerals I received my order from them yesterday and will post a full review but lets just say it is LOVE. Good pricing, nice application, lovely colours… I am a mineral covert!
  • New mascara- I will be wanting a new one… any suggestions.

weight-loss Lust List ( there are a few trends I would like to try but wont necessarily suit until I am slimmer, also I am trying to limit spending until I reach goal weight and then I want a splurge. I will keep updating this list and then know what I want when the day comes).

  • Over the knee flat  boots

Pacifica Black from Tony Bianco

Right now I think that is it for the list, no doubt it will have grown by target weight.

30th Bday Lust List ( yeah there are a few items I may gift myself for my 30th if I have free money)

  • Tiffany Elsa Peretti diamonds in the yard necklace ( I LOVE THIS SO SO MUCH)

  • Some lovely shoes either Jimmy Choo or Louboutins. I may well treat myself to a nude pair to wear for my wedding like this or this

The Louboutin soso

The Pigalle

For my 30th I think I would like the Pigalle in black!

For now my fellow sinners that is all. I am off to hail at the altar of Tiffany ( I make it 6 hail Tiffany’s I owe) and so here they are.

Hail 1

Hail 2

Hail 3

Hail 4, 5 and 6

Enjoy

Holly