I have just found so many old blog posts in draft form. I really do need to get better at actually publishing them. Reading them it seems so irrelevant now as things have changed just so much. People say having a baby changes your life no body ever warned me how much being pregnant would also change you. I cannot even start to think about how much life will change when she gets here.
There is a bump shot for the world to see. In 15 weeks it is my due date and honestly this pregnancy has flown by. I have learned so much about myself and how I truly feel about things I thought I would take some time to note it all down.
I have learned that despite loosing all the weight, as this blog started out with, I am fine with putting on what she needs. I am NOT fine with over indulging and not fine when I cannot eat in ten way I like. I have also learned it is not a big deal to me. I like healthy food, I know what makes my body sing and honestly I am happy with that. I want for my daughter to have a mother as a role model. A mother for whom health and feeling good and fit is important but not a big deal just something we do. I like to eat wholegrain, low fodmap and high veg with treats. I like my treats to be worth it treats though something amazing not just chocolate for a bad day- my how I have changed!
I was always interested to see how I would go pregnant. I am surrounded by many first time mothers and first time pregnant folk and have been amazing at how stressed it has made them. Naturally there are stresses associated with being pregnant and I was relieved every scan which showed her healthy, I will be further relieved when she is in my arms, but I resolved not to stress in pregnancy. I have not read up loads, I am relaxed, I have a daily coffee now I like it again as my ob says that’s fine, my birth plan is to get her here as healthy as possible and keep me safe also- that’s as detailed as it gets! I honestly think this has served me well. I have no idea what life will be like when she arrives all I know is to expect a change and frankly I look forward to it!
I have found it hard to fathom not working after so many years of it. In this time I have come to realise I am so passionate about my job. I take this as a positive and feel no stress if I want to go back to work in sme capacity when she and I are ready. Honestly I want her to be a strong woman with a love for her role and what better way to lead that by example.
I miss travel. This year we have budgeted to be ready for her arrival. We have long been saving and are now on a much tighter budget. My husband and I honestly have had so many conversations regarding money and we believe the only way it does us good is by being sensible with it, not having too much of it free, and for it to allow us to be secure and have choices. What I mean is whilst we don’t have a massive house, we do have a cosy home, and a few $$$ in the bank so we have options like me not having to rush back to work. We know we are lucky. In doing the budget we go out less, eat out less and buy less. I miss nothing material. I miss travel. I want travel to be something our daughter has a chance to do. I want her to see and embrace the world. I would love to do soe of this with her. Can you hear the words nomad family? If there becomes a way I will say YES!
Being pregnant has brought me so much closer to my husband than I could have ever imagined. Every time he laughs because bending over is hard, every time I wake up and he is asleep hugging the bump to feel close to her, every time he cooks me dinner as I am exhausted, each time I get emotional and he pops me in the bath and then strokes my hair whilst I go to sleep as it means I am overtired, each time he paints my toe nails as I can no longer reach, when he rubs my back at 2am because I have heart burn and every morning when he texts me from work to say I love you two… Every time I love him more than I ever knew possible!
Aside from anything else I am looking on this as the greatest adventure of all. A chance to see what is right for us three. A chance to move forward as our family team. I used to feel my life as I knew it would be over when I got pregnant, now it has happened I feel so different. Nobody warned me from the minute I felt this little one move and saw her face would I realise my world had just been blown wide open.
How did being pregnant change you? Has having the baby changed you again? I would love to know your experiences.