27th feb

I still spend half my day thinking and dreaming of all the fab outfits I can wear/ hope to wear again one day.

Work can be stressful luckily it really bothers me less. I hope I can retain this calm once the baby comes and use it moving forward.

Today is the start of a 4 day weekend for me. I am looking forward to cleaning the house #nesting.

Having a head in your pelvis and little feet moonwalking your ribs is no laughing matter!

These are today’s main thoughts

26th Feb

Better late than never, yesterday was busy. After a strange nights sleep I was all out of whack and really hungry!

I never reached the zen of the day before at work and although I had a nice day it was just another day.

I did preggie aqua though and it was nice to being back to exercise, with the swollen feet it has taken a back seat and been missed!

Fresh fruit and veg box delivered last night and I finally feel we are getting to grips with out budget. The mortgage has been sorted and the husband is signed off next week ( fingers crossed) and we are consolidating our insurances so I am working away for us to be in a good position to survive on one income as comfortably as possible!

I am sick of my clothes and keep looking round at all the people looking lovely….. How long until I can be like that again? It’s not that I feel bad about myself there just really is less choice and you don’t want to spend heaps on clothes which won’t fit for a long time.

What’s cracking everywhere else in the world?

25 Feb

Today was a really positive day. Despite a lack of sleep due to hip ache I woke up and got going and hopped on the bus to work. Seeing the water and the sunshine was lovely.

My phone battery died today, I felt a little stressed by it at first but it was lovely not checking the mobile, personal emails and facebook… so very zen by accident! But I think I may make it a thing. To be honest when I got home and charged it I hadn’t really missed all that much.

Work was great today. I was busy all day with varied tasks. Whizzed through lots of stuff and started to feel a lot better about everything. I also had what may be a quite promising discussion regarding future plans. It definitely made me realise I have worked hard to date and deserve to just throw my all into being a mumma and loving my maternity leave. I can address the work stuff after… amazing what a difference 24 hours can make!

Morning walks didn’t happen and I had physio after work today. I think weekly physio will be what it takes to keep me mobile to the end. Even if my version of mobile is now just being able to waddle round the block, preggie aqua and just getting on with my day… if I can keep this up I will be happy.

On another note I really hope that once the baby comes my relationship with my husband continues. Nobody warned me that getting pregnant would enclose us in this lovely bubble. Every time he runs me a bath, cooks me a meal or just strokes my hair I am so happy to have him. Every time I nearly go into labour laughing at his impressions of me trying to pick something off the floor or waddling around it makes me feel lucky too….

Its kind of still sinking in. I only just got my head around being pregnant and now she is on her way to meet us. It could be anywhere from the start of may according to the OB!

How was everyone elses day?

24th Feb

Holy moly It is the start of my 5th last week at work… where the bloody hell has this time gone???? Today she kicked for most of the day. In fact all of the day…. ribs, bladder you name It she kicked it!

Today was a good day. Work has the potential for freak outs at the moment as I am trying to get everything done, plus a lot of big projects I am involved in need to be wrapped up for handover. Because of the pregnancy I am doing my best but also forcing myself not to stress…I think this actually makes me better at work. Skill Learned.

Shockingly I actually enjoy the solitary nature of my work right now. Previously I was always wanting to be in a team environment and whilst I recognise this brings many benefits such as camaraderie the only aspect I am truly missing is the brainstorming. Otherwise I am happy just plugging away at my pace. Lesson 2 for the day.

I have been investigating future options for work, which is enjoyable but no path is clear. I think that is because now is not the time for decisions.. now is the time for waiting. Waiting for her to arrive and life as I know it to change.

No real pregnancy issues today. All my joints click as I roll over at night but now I roll with my knees together it is better. My hips are painfull but I do have my sexy girdle to wear. I have swollen feet, but am sat with them elevated which helps. I have a massive bump and am getting bored of preggie clothes. I am also a little tired. I cancelled pilates… it is just too hard to get there at the moment. I need to be walking more but it is hard on swollen feet so I may need to do it early! ( Goal for tomorrow).

Finally back…. to blogging after yet another big break

I know I am dreadfull… such a bad blogger. I cant really blame the pregnancy. It does make me tired but I am in pretty good health this side of the pregnancy, but time is just flying by and I am not keeping up.

Right now I am basically somewhere between 7.5 weeks and 10 weeks off giving birth. The baby and bump are both measuring in perfectly and she is now head down and moving down ready to come and meet us. This means that sh** just got real!

I struggle frequently. I struggle with the idea of not knowing what the future holds. How will my birth go? will I have a good baby? will I be a good mumma? Will I miss work? will I have the job I want to return to? Will I even want to work? Will I be a lucky one who looses the weight easily? Will I struggle? Will I wet myself the first time I go for a run after birth (apparently a very real possibility)?

So many questions and no answers. As with the rest of this pregnancy my approach has been to try not to stress. Relax, life is changing for you and moving forward quickly…. you do not need to push. Stop and listen to yourself and your body. For the first time in years you are about to do something other than using your degree and who knows you may love it.

So, I am handling things the best way I know how. Reminding myself to stay calm and relax, to journal and document the journey on hear and to allow myself the chance to honestly listen to myself and see what I want and life may offer.

I have started looking into a few very varied options and all of which seem great to me. I have found very little online in the way of a pregnancy/ working woman/ modern mummy type entries. A lot of the mummy blogs seem far to perfect to be appropriate for me right now.

So first instance I am going to use this blog to journal my journey. My thoughts, my feelings about myself, pregnancy, work and trying to be a yummy mummy!

Feel free to join me…. did any of you feel this way when pregnant?